Friday, June 27, 2008

Dig: Quoting Move Lines


OK, so I think this is mostly a guy thing. Some chicks quote movie lines to each other but I think generally girls think whipping out the occasional "I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like .... victory" (Apocalypse Now) is stupid and immature. However, by now you've probably learned that a lot of things in my life are stupid and immature so this fits in quite nicely. It's also similar to my love of trivia which is also stupid. If ignorance is bliss, I'm one happy camper!

The beauty of quoting a movie line is that there aren't many times when it is inappropriate. Not that I'm against doing inappropriate things, but when someone isn't paying attention in a meeting, how can you not say "Bueller..... Bueller...." (Ferris Bueller's Day Off)? Everyone gets a laugh and I look like Mr. Funny Man and all the chicks swoon for me. What more could a boy want?!

There are a few hazards with this activity, though, and one of them is quoting a movie line that people aren't familiar with. Maybe the line is too obscure or the movie went straight to DVD or something. You have to remember your audience as they always say in those stupid public speaking training sessions. For instance, in the event that the topic of a prom queen comes up in a meeting, you could use "Let's get the prom queen pregnant" (Breakfast Club) at some point but if the dolts in your meeting only remember "Wouldn't I be out-standing in that capacity?" from that movie, your quote will fall flat. And falling flat sucks. People look at you like you are more of a freak than you actually are and there is definitely no swooning involved. However, if someone in the room DOES get the line and comes back with a "You mess with the bull, you get the horns" you have found a new best friend and you can continue to quote lines while de-railing the rest of the meeting. Finally, a reason to attend a meeting (other than the promise of bagels)!!

Another reason to remember your audience is that if you start into a quote session including lines like "Inconceivable!" (Princess Bride) or "You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?" (Taxi Driver) with some young punk at work, he/she will most likely not have a friggin' clue what you're talking about. He may even come back at you with a line from Juno or some dumb-ass movie like that. In general, young punks don't know squat and if you want to fuck with them, throw out a "I'm going to kick 100% of your ass" (Fast Times at Ridgemont High) and watch their eyes glaze over while all the rest of us cool 40+ year-olds laugh. I'm a product of the '80's so if you want to have kind of a dueling John Hughes movie line quote-off, I'm in.

A variation on the theme of quoting movie lines is quoting song lyrics or TV lines. You never know when a well-placed comment about man-hands (Seinfeld) or a reference to not wanting to go to rehab (that freak Amy Winehouse) will come in, uh, handy. Because there are so many stupid TV shows and obscure bands out there, though, the falling flat thing becomes a little too real. Please do not quote a line from Golden Girls. Please also do not quote a song from Kenny Chesney. Yes, we know that you love them both and, according to TV Guide and Billboard magazine, so do plenty of other people but Bea Arthur is just not quote-worthy. And the only quote I want to hear from Kenny Chesney is why he married Renee Zelwegger one day and then divorced her like a week later. I'm sure it has something to do with her squinty eyes.

So WHY do I dig quoting movie lines? No clue. You would think that I would want to wow people with my own words, not those of Al Pacino from Scarface ("Say hello to my little friend"). But when the time is right for a "You feeling lucky, punk?" (Dirty Harry), I just can't resist. I also use a lot of cliches when I speak and, according to a former boss of mine, cliches are a grammatical crutch of sorts. Whatever. I can live with it. Besides, I don't need no stinking badge (Blazing Saddles).

Now, for those of you playing along at home, I've listed some nifty movie lines for you to use when the opportunity presents iteself. Please note the two quotes with asterisks. Those are a little over-used and further use can sound lame and un-original. Proceed with caution. Also note that there are very few high-brow movies from which I quote lines. What am I going to do - quote that line from Schindler's List about how the ring on Schindler's hand could have saved one more person? Yeah, I don't think so. By the list below, you can see that my brow is pretty low. Enjoy - and now I'm going to go have myself a Royale with cheese (Pulp Fiction).

Wax on, wax off - Karate Kid
Look kids, Big Ben! - European Vacation
It's a Cinderella story - Caddyshack
I wish I was a loofah - Stripes
Try the veal. I'm here all week - Shrek
I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore - Network
* Houston, we have a problem - Apollo 13
Reeeaal tomato ketchup, Eddie? - Vacation
Those aren't pillows! - Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
We're on a mission from god - The Blues Brothers
This one time, at band camp - American Pie
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life - Animal House
You'll shoot your eye out - A Christmas Story
You can't handle the truth! - A Few Good Men
* Show me the money! - Jerry Maguire
Juuuust a bit outside - Major League

20 comments:

The Smoking Monkey from Stuckeys said...

"You took it . . . and broke a major rule of enagagement!" Top Gun

The Smoking Monkey from Stuckeys said...

Anything from Airplane, e.g.:

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue."

"Cigerette?" "Yes, I know"

"Surely, you must be kidding." "No I'm not kidding, and stop calling me Shirley."

Officer and a Gentleman:

"Only two things come from Oklahoma boy . . . steers and queers."

Wedding Crashers:

"You shut your mouth when your talking to me."

MizFit said...

I swear that is entirely how my husband and I communicate.

movie one-liners.


Miz.

Never That Easy said...

You would definitely fit in at my house, where movie quotes are a requirement. Other people sometimes look at us like we're crazy, but we just tell them to "mind your bizness, alright? Just mind your bizness, that's all..." From a particularly laugh-worthy Fresh Prince of Bel Air episode.

CDJ said...

Quoting movie lines: not just for guys anymore!

I frequently quote movie lines to my child. As in, "There's no crying in baseball!" (better than my parents' stand by -- I'll give you something to cry about!) or "You can dooo eet!" or "Bueller... Bueller..."

Zen Wizard said...

Agreed--

But squinting and quoting a line from a Country song like it is deep philosophy is really retarded.

For example:

"You've got to know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em..."

or:

"If my truck was a horse I'd shoot it."

or:

"Like my daddy said, you've got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything."

Anything your "daddy" said was probably retarded if you are forty and you are still calling him "Daddy."

Bennet said...

My 3 favorite phrases from Robocop.

In a hardy loud husky yell:" Iiiiiii LIKE IT!"

"I'd buy that for a dollar"

&

"I fucking love that guy"

Jacob Bergmeier said...

"Your hard-on for smiting has prevented us from negotiating what ought to be the relatively simple matter of catching or staying on a bus."

~Dogma~

Thanks for the comment... the brides mom loves the texture photos.

kellie said...

My friends and I are the kind of girls who quote movies and TV shows all the time. A lot of Fargo and Raising Arizona ("Son, you got a panty on your head") gets thrown around, plus the regular Zoolander "What is this? A center for ants?!"

Kat said...

I laughed out loud reading this! I'm not sure if my hubby and I could even carry on a conversation without throwing a quote into it!

You are right when you say that you need to be careful when quoting around people who just don't get it. Case in point-

My husband Greg and I were playing cards with another couple. Who knows how we got started on this, but my husband was talking about milking cows (his family has a dairy farm) and then moving on to our friends' cat, who had just had a litter of kittens that was nursing. Well, my husband interjects, "You can milk anything with nipples," to which I respond, as any good wife who has seen "Meet the Parents" would, "I have nipples, Greg, can you milk me?"

You should have seen the look on our friends' faces! You could've heard a pin drop (after we stopped laughing from our apparently inside joke, at least). Because they had never seen the movie, they didn't get the quote and though we were being incredibly vulgar! We still laugh about that!

HeatherPride said...

Good lord, you and my husband could go back and forth all night quoting movie lines at each other!! So funny! I think I'll even forward this post to him, he'll get a kick out of it!

Ruth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ruth said...

Thanks! Sorry if I misunderstood!

Ruth said...

P.S. I dig quoting movies - my favorite is "So I Married An Axe Murderer". "I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare."

Neurotic Grad Student said...

Yeah, my husband is forever quoting movies I've never seen and then acting appalled that I've never seen them.

Even more frequent, though, is the use of quotes from the Simpsons. I don't think he can get through a day without quoting that show. It's amazing.

P. S. I think I am the young punk you speak of who doesn't understand your references! I'm sorry!

wundermary said...

I see why you liked the Wendy O. Williams comment so much. Did you catch my reference to "Deliverance"? I whipped out "you sure do got a pretty mouth" in reference to a tourist trap below the Mason-Dixon line.

I don't remember that whole 'stinking badges' thing from Blazing Saddles. But, I can tell you that Mel ripped it from "Treasure of the Sierra Madre"; it's a great moment.

I just posted a reference to a peyote-laced Carlos Castaneda (why hasn't some of his work been made into a movie? way better than the recent rash of Hollywood rehashes) moment in connection to beading. Any church ladies reading about my beading exploits either won't get it or will have to contain themselves so as not to blow their cover.

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