Starting with something I hate sets such a tone....

.... and yet, I find myself hating more things than I dig/don't get. So, let's begin, shall we?

Today's hate is brought to you by the people who like to stop and chat in the middle of the aisle in the grocery store, mall, etc. Hate that. Meijer's (my local grocery store) is not the place to hang out and chat with your little friends. You go in, get your damn cart, load up your damn food and you get out, dammit. You need to stay out of my way while I am doing same! Keep to the right except to pass and sure as hell don't stand in the middle of the aisle talking about Junior's upcoming birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese's or anything else unless it can somehow benefit me.

Sunday after church is a big time for this.
"Hey look, honey, it's the VanSomethingorothers."
"We haven't seen them since our fondue party in 1979"
"Let's discuss what our families have been doing since then."
"Great idea. I have the Powerpoint slides right here in my purse."
"Super! This display of 2-ply toilet paper will make a great backdrop to show our kids' resume's"
Meanwhile, I have to use that last little piece of TP that is actually glued to the roll to take care of my needs because these dolts WON'T GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!!

I don't mean to stray too far into the Things I Don't Get category, but I don't get the whole idea of standing in the middle of the aisle completely oblivious to being in other people's way. Hello?! Don't you see us giving you dirty looks? "Accidentally" running our carts up the back of your ankle? Giving you a little hip check as we pass by? This little act falls under a broader heading of hate that I like to call "Being Inconsiderate of Me" (the rest of you are on your own) and bugs the tar out of me.

And that's really where I'm coming from here, folks. I don't really enjoy being at Meijer's. It's a pain. Don't make it more painful for me by prolonging my shopping experience. Mind you, if there were girls in bikinis standing next to you in the aisle handing out chocolate chip cookies and CD's of my favorite bands, I might actually find great pleasure in waiting for you to get out of my way. However, Meijer's has to keep their overhead low so the only girls they could afford to hire to dole out treats are girls that I wouldn't really want to receive treats from (sorry about that preposition at the end there)!

You being in my way benefits me not. You being in my way discussing a hot stock tip or how you accidentally left $10,000 behind the third oak tree from the left benefits me much. So that's the only way I'll cut you any slack on this issue. You want to make me push my stupid cart around you while I debate over Cap'n Crunch and Lucky Charms? You'd better make it worth my while by helping a brother out in some way. Otherwise, get thee out of the aisle!

And now I'm all pissed off!!!